Observatin' at the Bar
by AutumnDreamer
Summary: Edward hangs out one night with Emmett at a local neighborhood bar where they observe some drunk and hilarious hi-jinks. Post-Legacy Outtake. Originally written for mskathy's Twi-Fans for Haiti Project. COMPLETE


**Disclaimer:** I'm not Stephenie Meyer, don't own Twilight but I did witness first hand some of the incidents here in this little fic.

**A/N:** The following takes places with Edward and Emmett from _Legacy_ and is actually set post-_Legacy_ sometime in the future. The story is based on a recent experience when I met up with an old friend at a neighborhood bar in January 2010. My thanks go out to Annetteskitty for letting me use her as a character. Originally written for mskathy's Twi-Fans for Haiti project.

**OBSERVATIN' AT THE BAR**

Emmett and I had never been heavy drinkers, so it surprised me when he called and asked me to meet him at Mill Creek. Mill Creek wasn't a fancy, upscale bar by any means. It wasn't the type of place a woman could go and order one of those fancy girlie drinks with fruit juices and umbrellas. If they served wine, it was the type that came out of a box. Mill Creek was more of a beer or hard liquor joint. I climbed the front steps, dodging the sea of people who chose to freeze their asses off for a few puffs on a cigarette. The indoor smoking ban in Washington State had kicked in, and on a night like this, I was never more grateful. The drinkers with their cancer sticks could freeze their asses off outside while my lungs were free to breath the stale, liquor-scented air from inside the bar.

Entering the establishment, the door slammed behind me with a heavy thud. The square bar was directly in front of me with a dance floor to the left. Pool tables sat on either side of the small dance floor with a DJ tucked against the wall. Scanning the room for my brother, I finally found him in the unlikeliest of places—in the opposite corner of the bar, his back to the wall and visible to everyone. I thought he might have tried to hide at a table near the dance floor, away from prying eyes and nosey town folk.

Nodding toward his direction, I made my way toward him, shoving through the crowd of people standing aimlessly around. A few of them patted me on the back, and I stared at the ground when they tried to meet me in the eye. I didn't want to deal with the questions and comments about what had gone on. Moving on with my life was once again on my agenda, and this time, it was on Emmett's too. I didn't think that Emmett would want to deal with everything either, which made me once again question why he had decided to meet up at Mill Creek.

Pulling up a stool next to him, I sat down and leaned against the bar. "How's your ankle?"

Emmett took a sip from a tall, red Silo cup. "Little tender," he said. "We won't be tearing up the dance floor tonight, man." He smiled slyly, his eyes not reaching mine.

"Bitch, I left my dance heels at home since you're clumsy and reinjured your ankle." Emmett chuckled and took another sip from his cup. "Bro, what's up? Why did you want to meet me here?"

Placing his cup down on the bar, Emmett sighed. "I needed to get out. Rose is being overprotective and clingy. I can't blame her after everything that's happened. At the same time, though, I didn't want to be alone yet. I… I can't right now."

"Understood," I said. He had spent too much time alone. "Should you be drinking though?"

"Oh, please." Emmett swirled the contents of his cup. "I asked for a Jack and Coke. Artie must've put a thimbleful of Jack in here. At least the bastard didn't charge me full price."

"Hey, this bastard doesn't want anything else to happen to ya, ya hear?" Artie smacked his hands against the wooden bar. "Edward, what can I get ya?"

"I'll take the same but with more than a thimbleful of Jack."

"Coming right up, Marcie."

I shook my head in disgust and sighed. The Peanut nicknames were meant to be common knowledge to only my innermost circle of family and close friends, but Jasper ruined it. One rare night while drunk from some cheap ass draft beer, Jasper tried getting my attention by shouting my nickname across Mill Creek. It was a cold winter night in Forks, and there was nothing new on TV that night. When that happened, you had only three choices that didn't involve traveling to Port Angeles—bowling, procreation, or beer. Needless to say, Newton's Alley was closed due to a problem with the electricity and half the town wasn't horny enough to stay indoors. The other half of the town must've been packed into the damn bar. At first I didn't answer even though he kept on shouting for me. A tourist turned and looked; her name evidently was Marcie, and she was wondering why the hell some strange, drunk man was yelling for her. Fed up with my lack of attention toward him, Jasper finally yelled out, "Edward Fucking Cullen, answer me when I call you, Marcie!"

If I was _that guy_, not to mention as strong and as big as Jasper and Emmett, I would've dragged Jasper outside and roughed him up a bit. But I've never been that guy. And even though I'd worked out with both of them, I'd never gotten as large as my brothers. I wasn't as scrawny and skinny like I was when I arrived in Forks when I was seventeen, but I wasn't as muscular as them. I was average.

I groaned and shot daggers into Artie's back. He could be a bastard, but at the same time, he was good to us. When the girls came here by themselves he looked out for them, not letting anyone rough them up. Once when they had too much to drink, he called me without them knowing so I could pick them and take them home.

Artie placed my cup down in front of me, I handed him a ten dollar bill, and he placed only three dollars back down in front of me. "Wait up! Jack and Coke's are only five, what's the deal, Artie?"

"You got Emmett's alcohol, so it's more." He laughed and turned his attention toward a customer in the opposite corner of the bar.

Thirsty, I went to gulp down a large portion of my drink and nearly choked on it. "Shit, he wasn't kidding about giving me your alcohol. So, what are we doing here?"

"People watchin'," Emmett said. "Observatin' at the bar."

"Anything interesting going on before I got here?" I placed my cup down and hoped the ice would melt quickly.

Emmett nodded across the bar. "See Chris?"

"Yeah, he's letting Charlotte grind her ass against his again I see."

"She's dancing." Emmett shrugged. "Chris walked in and announced he wasn't going to drink because he had to drive back to PA tonight. Two minutes later, he has a beer in one hand and a shot in the other."

"That seriously leads me to wonder where he's sleeping tonight."

"Not at Charlotte's." Emmett laughed. "She came out last week. She has a girlfriend in Seattle."

"No shit?"

"No shit."

We sat silently at the bar for a few minutes "observatin'" as Emmett had called it. More people slowly spilled into the building, and I wasn't sure where to focus my attention. That problem was cured when Annette loudly walked in through the front door. Her scream pierced my ear drum, and I wondered how much she had to drink before she had arrived. Eliza and Cassandra followed behind Annette, smiles on their faces while they watched their friend. Annette walked around the bar stamping everyone's hands. When she reached Emmett, she paused.

"Emmett!" She screamed and I held my hand over my ear. "It's so good to see you again." Annette leaned closer to Emmett and kissed him on the lips.

I wondered what was going on in Emmett's head while Annette kissed him. Whatever it was, it seemed as if he was trying to get Annette off of him without forcefully shoving her away. Their kiss broke, and Annette started to giggle. "I've always wanted to kiss you, Emmett Cullen."

"It seems like you've gotten your way, Annette."

"How are you?" she asked.

"Much better, thanks for asking."

Eliza and Cassandra walked up behind Annette and gave her a shove toward my direction. I hoped she didn't try to kiss me. I'd feel guilty and then I'd end up telling Bella and then… well, I didn't need or want the drama.

"Annette?"

At the sound of her name, she stopped between me and Emmett. "Yes?"

"Do you want your gum back?" he asked seriously.

"Oh, no, that's okay, it was getting old," she said as she eyed me. "Edward Cullen!"

Thankfully, Annette passed by me without shoving her tongue into my mouth. Emmett spit out her gum into a napkin while Annette kissed me on the cheek and then stamped both of our hands with a smilie face. Eliza and Cassandra smiled shyly at us, muttering a greeting as they went by.

"What the hell is this?" I asked aloud.

Emmett studied the stamp on his hand. "Got the hell out of me. By the way, you do know you are not to utter a word about that kiss to Rose, right?"

"You're not going to tell her?"

"I'll tell her," he said. "It should come from me and not someone else."

I agreed because he was right.

The night wore on and the crowd changed. A girl had sat down on my right but didn't say anything. An older man, maybe in his fifties or sixties, had sat a few places away from the girl. The girl seemed nervous, so I turned to ask if she was okay. When I turned, I saw that the man was winking at her and unbuttoning his shirt. I leaned toward the girl and whispered to her. "Are you here with anyone?"

"I'm waiting for some friends," she replied nervously. "They're late, and this Mexican guy is odd."

The Mexican was still staring at her, winking rapidly with his hand inside his now half unbuttoned shirt. "You can stay here with me and my brother until your friends get here."

"Thanks," she replied and ordered a ginger ale when Artie came around.

Two guys around my age had came and sat down on Emmett's other side. I recognized one of them from high school. He was a jackass back then. His friend wasn't much better. They were already slurring their words when they ordered another beer.

Luckily, they turned their attention in the opposite direction and left us alone. The friends of the girl who was sitting next to me finally showed up. The Mexican left for another part of the bar, so the girl and her friends stayed and grabbed the empty stools. I drank from my cup, but the Jack still overwhelmed the Coke. Noticing my look of disgust, Artie dropped off a cup of Coke to me. As I mixed my drinks together, I wondered if the guy wasn't as much of a bastard as he originally came across.

The group next to us started drinking and soon most of them sounded tipsy. One of the guys they were with was tall like Emmett. He was standing but leaned down against the back of one of the chairs and another girl was rubbing her ass up against his to the music. He didn't seem to care, appearing indifferent to the situation, as if it was her normal behavior. A few minutes later one of the jackasses on Emmett's left got up and walked toward my direction and through the group of people on my right. That was when the shouting match started.

Evidently, stupid drunk guy by Emmett had rubbed up against one of the girls who had a boyfriend. The boyfriend saw, had a fit, and got into stupid guy's face. This was all happening right next to me, so of course I thought I was about to be in the middle of a damn bar fight. From halfway across the bar, a woman came running over and introduced herself to the boyfriend. It seemed as if she was the girlfriend of the drunken guy. What? Where the hell had she been all night long? I had seen this guy hit on everything and anything in the damn bar. Luckily, she diffused the situation and things calmed down. The two stupid drunk guys made their way to another location.

"Edward, be careful if those two come around again." Emmett signaled to Artie for a refill.

"Why, what's up?"

"I'm sure the guy that messed with the girl had a knife on him."

Artie came over and Emmett filled him in on his suspicions and Artie said he'd keep an eye on the two. "Hey, Artie, what is with that…um, person over there?" I nodded to the opposite corner of the bar.

"Oh, we call that Mangina," he said. "I'm not sure if he's a transsexual, transgender, cross dresser or a drag queen." What ever it… he… she… whatever was, The Mexican was now hitting on it.

"I would so love to see the reaction from The Mexican if he reached up Mangina's skirt and found a dick and pair of balls," Emmett chuckled next to me. "That would be some priceless shit right there."

"Makes me wonder why he does it."

"Does what? Dresses up as a woman?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Does he actually enjoy that? It is some sex thing? Does he wish he was born a woman?"

"Why don't you ask Mangina yourself?" Emmett said.

"Oh, hell no."

I was slightly afraid that Emmett would call Mangina over, but he didn't. Maybe that was because Annette screamed and our attention was focused on her and the use of a support beam as a stripper pole.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Go Annette!" I yelled. She stopped mid-twirl and blew a kiss in my direction.

"If you encourage her you might get some gum too!"

"I'd have to refuse it," I said. "I've never been much of a gum chewer."

I excused myself to use the bathroom. On the way back, I noticed Mangina sitting at a table near the dance floor with a different man. He was getting more action than some of the girls in this place! The Mexican was dancing with some young girl. I grinned as I saw a young guy steal her away from him. The Mexican stayed on the dance floor, dancing near any female that would let him. I was impressed—for an older guy, he was a pretty good dancer. While I was standing there taking in the scene before me, I overheard someone mentioning something about a fight in the parking lot. Glancing in Emmett's direction, he raised his cup to me. Since the fight didn't involve either of us, I didn't give a fuck.

Annette spotted me, grabbed my hand, and dragged me onto the dance floor. She wrapped her arms around me so tight that I thought I was going to need a crowbar to get away from her.

"Do you know that you have a smilie on your forehead?" I asked her.

"Yes!" She let go of me and her hands went to her low cut top and moved it down some. "I have 'em on my boobs, too! See, smilie faces on my boobs!"

One moment I was talking to Annette and then next… nothing…there was only blackness. Annette had grabbed the back of my head and shoved my face into her cleavage. If it wasn't for Bella and the fact that we were in a public place, I might have enjoyed Annette's boobs. Struggling to free myself from her bountiful breasts, I accidently grabbed onto her tits by when I thought I was going to pass out from lack of air.

She freed me when the music changed to yet another country song and she turned to yell at the DJ. "Stop with the country music before this bitch knifes you with a spork!"

Emmett was laughing when I made it back to the bar. "You were right in there! Why didn't you motorboat her?"

"I was not going to motorboat Annette, not on purpose, thank you very much." I knew he was going to say something, so I cut him off before he could. "Shut up about Bella!"

"I was just going to say that you can motorboat Bella all you want," A slight smile was pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Thought maybe it'd be fun to do it to someone else for one night."

"Right," I said and took a sip of my drink. "Just like when you swapped spit with Annette earlier."

Emmett said something, but I didn't catch his words as my attention was caught by one of the two drunken guys reentering the establishment. "Emmett, the one in the gray shirt is back and it appears some shit did indeed go on outside. He's heading this way."

Emmett turned slightly to catch a glimpse of the guy. As he approached us, I could see that his gray shirt was splattered in blood. He asked Artie for a beer and then turned to us.

"Hey, aren't you….um…" he asked, still too drunk to really form a coherent thought on his own.

"Yeah, that's us." Emmett answered without looking at him.

"What happened to you?" I stupidly asked. It was then that I noticed that there was blood on his face and he was missing a tooth.

"I was outside and walked around the corner and I was punched in the face." He took a swig of beer. "It's all because my stupid friend can't keep his mouth shut."

"It sounds like it's about time to find some new friends." Emmett finished off the rest of his drink. "You ready bro?"

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost three in the morning. "Let's go!"

We made our way through the bar and the crowd of people standing around aimlessly. Again, some of them stared and muttered under their breaths while others patted us on the back. Outside, I waited until Emmett had hobbled down the front steps. "I'm getting tired of that."

"It'll die down sooner or later."

"I hope so." I walked slowly in order to keep up with Emmett and his bum ankle. "Thanks for inviting me out, bro."

He opened the door and sat in the driver's seat. "Thanks for hanging out with me tonight. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Drive safely."

My cell phone buzzed as I walked to my car. Opening my car door, I sat inside and then checked my phone. It was a text message from Rose.

_Are you still with Emmett?_

I texted her back, informing her that he was on the way home to her. I knew she was still worried about him and didn't want to text him directly. She'd come off as a nag. Throwing the car into reverse, I backed out of my spot and headed home to Bella.

* * *

**A/N:** I know this little story may raise some questions, but eventually I'll tell you where this fits in or you'll just figure it out yourself. ;)


End file.
